Word Games

Here's an easy game to play; here's an easy thing to say:

When is someone English, and when are they British?

I used to think these were pretty well interchangeable terms when talking about people (and things) who are English, but I have discovered this is not so. Have no fear, though: the rules are very simple.

• If someone is from England and they are good at something, they are English.
• If someone is from Scotland, Wales or Ireland and they are good at something, they are British.
• If someone is from England and they are not good at something, they are British.
• If someone is from Scotland, Wales or Ireland and they are not good at something, they are Scots, Welsh or Irish, respectively.

A very admirable scheme, I'm sure. Hence:

• Andy Murray, the British tennis player (actually a Scot), but
• Johnny Wilkinson, the English rugby captain.
  
• Gordon Brown, the Scottish Prime Minister of Britain, and
  
• John Major, the ex-British Prime Minister (actually English).
  
• Cardiff, the Welsh capital, but
• The beautiful mountains of the West of Britain (ie. Wales).

This scheme is particular hard on the Irish, who are not part of Britain at all. The only major difficulty with it is Kevin Peterson...